Protecting Your Children on Social Media

Social media has become a significant part of children's lives, and it's crucial for parents to understand and guide their usage.

According to thePew Research Center, 35% of teens in the US report using one of the top five sites—YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook—“almost constantly.”

That makes it important for you to understand how your children are interacting with what they see. The idea is to “guide your kids toward healthy social media habits,” according toHealthyChildren.org, a site created by theAmerican Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

Social Media Use and Mental Health

What concerns some parents is the sheer amount of time kids spend on social media. According to Pew, 35% of the adolescents they surveyed said it would be “somewhat hard” to give it up…and 18% said it would be “very hard.”

The impact of social media on mental health is a nuanced and evolving topic. Here’s a summary of the key points regarding social media use and its potential effects on mental health. (Gohere to learn about other concerns regarding screen time and children.)

1. The Allure of Social Media

• Designed for Engagement: Social media platforms are engineered to capture and hold users' attention. They encourage users to connect with a wide network, which can be positive for staying in touch but also raises risks if privacy settings are not managed properly. As HealthyChildren puts it, your child “can be contacted by marketers or adults they don't know.” 
• Dopamine Release: Engaging with social media can trigger dopamine release in the brain, leading to a cycle of craving and checking feeds, which can contribute to compulsive use.

2. Potential Negative Effects

• Comparison and Loneliness: Exposure to idealized images and lifestyles of others can lead to feelings of inadequacy or loneliness. Seeing others with more followers or "likes" may exacerbate these feelings.
• Unkind Behavior: Social media can sometimes encourage behaviors that individuals might not exhibit in face-to-face interactions, including posting unkind or hurtful comments—things “they wouldn't necessarily have the nerve to say in real life,” HealthyChildren notes.

3. Mental Health Concerns:

• Depression and Social Media: While there is some evidence suggesting that heavy social media use may be linked to increased depressive symptoms, the relationship is complex. One research team, writing in theJournal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, has found “small associations” but couldn’t definitively establish causation. It is possible that social media use reflects existing offline vulnerabilities rather than directly causing depression.
• Quality vs. Quantity: The impact of social media may depend more on how it is used than how much time is spent online. Passive activities, like scrolling without interacting, are associated with higher feelings of depression compared to more active engagement.

Exposure to Potentially Harmful Social Media Content

However, some social media content that teens may interact with may have unhealthy effects.

The algorithms that determine what a user sees are designed to show content that’s similar to what’s been viewed before. That means feeds can fill up with content that isn’t in a youngster’s best interest; as HealthyChildren puts it, “Think diet ads being sent to a teen with poor body image.”

In their constant hunger for greater engagement, social media platforms often reward “outrageous behavior, and the more outrageous, the bigger the bragging rights,” says HealthyChildren.

That has led to dangerous, fad-like “internet challenges,” such as eating non-food items. “It’s a quick-moving, impulsive environment, and the fear of losing out is real for teens,” notes HealthyChildren.

Cyberbullying

Perhaps the greatest challenge children may face online is being bullied via not only social media sites but also text messages, apps, web forums, email or online gaming. Known ascyberbullying, this may involve sending demeaning messages, sharing embarrassing images, spreading untrue stories or encouraging someone to be shunned.

Bullying is nothing new, of course. The JCPP study team found that teens who’ve been bullied at school “are more likely to be bullied, victimized and solicited online.”

But scientists are learning how harmful bullying—long thought of as a childhood rite of passage—can be.

In fact, bullying is now “considered to be a serious public health problem,” according to a report from theNational Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM). In addition to physical issues such as stomachaches and headaches, “emerging research shows that bullying also affects the brain,” which can lead to “long-term psychological effects.” 

And while both online and offline bullying can be distressing, cyberbullying presents additional problems.

Targets “may not know who is targeting them, or why,” say professors Sameer Hinduja, PhD, of Florida Atlantic University and Justin W. Patchin, PhD, of the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, who teamed up to create theCyberbullying Research Center (CRC). They point out that malicious content can go viral, leading to others joining in.

What’s more, cyberbullying’s anonymous nature means “the aggressor doesn’t have to see the immediate response by the target. It is often easier to be cruel using technology.”

How Parents Can Protect Children on Social Media

The good news about the challenges that children face on social media: There are ways that you as a parent can help guide your child through the online jungle.

How to Deal with Cyberbullying

Addressing cyberbullying is a critical issue that requires a thoughtful and supportive approach. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help manage and mitigate the impact of cyberbullying on your child.

1. Provide Emotional Support

• Be a Source of Comfort: Ensure your child knows they are loved and supported. Reassure them that you are there to help and listen.
• Stay Calm: Respond to the situation calmly and rationally. Your composed demeanor will help your child feel more secure and less anxious. As the CRC puts it, “Targets of cyberbullying (and those who observe it) must know for sure that the adults whom they tell will intervene rationally and logically, and not make the situation worse.”

2. Avoid Immediate Restrictions

• Don’t Impose Blanket Restrictions: Avoid cutting off online access or taking away devices as a first response. This might lead to your child feeling punished and less willing to communicate in the future.
• Engage in Conversation: Talk with your child about what happened and seek their input on how they think the situation could be resolved.

3. Address Minor and Serious Incidents Differently

• Handling Minor Issues: For less severe instances of cyberbullying, encourage your child to ignore minor teasing and name-calling if possible. Responding to the aggressor may escalate the situation.
• Dealing with Serious Cases: Document any evidence of cyberbullying, such as screenshots, chat logs and timestamps. Use this documentation when reporting the incident.

4. Reporting Cyberbullying

• To the School: Report incidents involving classmates or school-related matters to school authorities. Schools often have protocols for handling such issues.
• To the Platform: Most social media platforms have reporting mechanisms for inappropriate behavior. Use these to report cyberbullying on the platforms where it occurs.
• To the Authorities: If the cyberbullying involves threats of physical harm or other criminal behavior, involve the police to ensure your child’s safety.

5. Promote Digital Citizenship

• Teach Online Safety: Help your child understand how to manage privacy settings and control who can see their content. Discuss the importance of being cautious about what they post and share.
• Encourage Respect: Talk about the impact of negative messages and the importance of respectful online interactions.

6. Address Bystander Behavior

• Encourage Action: Teach your child how to respond if they witness bullying. Encourage them to support the victim and to seek help if they are uncomfortable intervening alone.
• Promote Group Support: Sometimes, standing up against bullying is easier when done collectively. Encourage your child to work with friends or allies if they witness bullying.

7. Advocate for School-Based Solutions

• Participate in School Discussions: Bring the issue to school board meetings or join parent groups focused on addressing bullying.
• Support Effective Programs: Advocate for school-based programs that teach students about positive interactions and provide targeted interventions for those at risk. Zero-tolerance policies should be evaluated critically, as they may lead to underreporting of incidents.

Smart Social Media Use for Children

• Open Communication:Have regular conversations with your kids about their online activities. Ask about the apps they use, the content they view and their interactions with others. This helps you stay informed and builds trust.
• Set Clear Guidelines:Establish rules about screen time and social media usage. For example, you might set limits on the amount of time they spend online each day or restrict social media use to certain times.
• Educate About Privacy:Teach your children about online privacy and the importance of protecting personal information. Explain the risks of sharing too much and how to adjust privacy settings on their accounts.
• Encourage Critical Thinking:Help your kids develop critical thinking skills by discussing the reliability of online information and the potential for misinformation. Encourage them to question and verify what they see online.
• Model Healthy Behavior:Be a role model by demonstrating balanced use of social media and technology. Your behavior will influence how your children approach their own online activities.
• Promote Offline Activities:Encourage your kids to engage in offline activities such as sports, reading or hobbies. Balancing online time with offline activities helps them develop a well-rounded lifestyle.
• Be Aware of Content:Familiarize yourself with the apps and platforms your children use. Understanding the content and features of these platforms can help you provide better guidance.
• Discuss Online Etiquette:Talk about the importance of respect and kindness in online interactions. Reinforce the idea that the same rules of behavior apply online as they do in person.
• Monitor Usage:Use parental controls and monitoring tools to keep an eye on your child’s social media activity if needed. Make sure they are aware that you are monitoring their usage to ensure transparency.
• Address Cyberbullying:Discuss the signs of cyberbullying and how to handle it. Make sure your child knows they can come to you if they encounter any form of online harassment or bullying.

By actively engaging with your children about their social media use and providing guidance, you can help them develop healthier online habits and navigate the digital world more safely.